January 31, 2007

Spoilt by all the fun...


That's what I was... spoilt! Spoiled by those two days of whirlwind socializing out in the real world with real people. And that makes the return to the 'Fortress of Solitude' all the more difficult. Freelancing means being alone I think. Let's not forget, the ultimate punishment in prison is serving time in solitude... it ain't easy.

I know, I know, I can leave any time I like... I can go out and about... but in fact, there are hours and hours and days and days when the freelancer is basically stuck at home alone in their studios.

I used to dream about an ideal shared studio. It'd be somewhere downtown or at least in a lively location, with coffee shops, bookstores and lots of things to make one feel connected to the working world of commerce. I'm not sure I could afford to pay rent on such a studio though... and then I'd probably start bitching about someone down the hall playing Led Zepplin and drowning out my Vaughn Williams.

SO... that leaves the one salvation to the equation... WORK! Lose one's self in work... that's it. That's all we can do for most of the day.

I was musing the other day about how whenever someone is truly seeking something, it somehow will appear out of nowhere. This really played out for me last week, as the world seemed to almost be projecting my every thought. I was up sketching in my hideaway cafeteria... working on my usual wonderful productive dozen sketches, when suddenly this woman sits down a few tables away. At once I realized she was the exact perfect model for a character in my new book... and she was sitting in the exact correct position that she appears in my rough sketch! Talk about coincidence! Well I wasted no time in sketching her out... and got just the exact missing touch of reality that I was searching for.


Then on the way home, there appeared another character outlined exactly in a cloud in the sky... standing in the exact pose I had been struggling with in another scene in the book. It all seemed quite providential. This picture isn't the same cloud, of course... though now that I look at it, I see a very fun character's face in this cloud. Can you see it too? Sort of a Voltaire type fellow with a big nose looking up towards the left?

Ever notice how clouds seem to try one's patience... never changing... then you look again and they're totally different?


Twilight said...

Hi! I've always enjoyed your blog. Thank you.

I hope your dream come true...a shared studio. I empathise the aloneness in freelancing. All the best.

John Nez said...

Thanks! Nice to know I've got readers...



June said...

I see the face John! But then I see faces and patterns and people displayed in the most odd things.

I have to say what fun it would be to share a studio with you... for a while... until we got on each others nerves!
At least we can look in on each other without disturbing work, with the magic of web :¬)

I promise to update my blog soon... chasing a deadline now.

Liz said...

I don't think anyone would want to share a studio with me- the combo of disco and Dr. Phil would drive 'em batty (just ask Eric, the only one who must share a studio with me!).
I can see a distinct labrador puppy in those clouds.

PG said...

Ah, John you old romantic, Vaughan Williams...one of my favourites too. Just resonates English landscape for me.

Although I do like the mighty Zep too, in the right mood.

Anonymous said...

And there's nothing quite like 'A Shropshire Lad' by Butterworth... ah England!

BTW I just luved that new BBC production of Jane Eyre. I did see Ireland from the air once... enroute to Milano.



gail said...

I could swear I've checked your blog a number of times in the last week and never saw this post. Really it wasn't there, and then magically today there it is with a Jan. 31st date and a number of comments. Sometimes Blogger likes to hide things from me. This happened once before over at another blog.

I never thought about sharing a studio. I don't think anyone would want to share with me, I'm soooo messy. And I tend to play the same music over and over until I finish a piece. But I sure know what you mean about working alone. Plus, wouldn’t it be cool to get to bounce ideas off some else who's creative!

I have actually had dreams that were the answer to something I was seeking. Not exactly like something appearing out of nowhere, but an awfully nice thing to wake up to. I guess when you are really looking for an answer your mind never stops thinking about it.