January 31, 2007
Spoilt by all the fun...
That's what I was... spoilt! Spoiled by those two days of whirlwind socializing out in the real world with real people. And that makes the return to the 'Fortress of Solitude' all the more difficult. Freelancing means being alone I think. Let's not forget, the ultimate punishment in prison is serving time in solitude... it ain't easy.
I know, I know, I can leave any time I like... I can go out and about... but in fact, there are hours and hours and days and days when the freelancer is basically stuck at home alone in their studios.
I used to dream about an ideal shared studio. It'd be somewhere downtown or at least in a lively location, with coffee shops, bookstores and lots of things to make one feel connected to the working world of commerce. I'm not sure I could afford to pay rent on such a studio though... and then I'd probably start bitching about someone down the hall playing Led Zepplin and drowning out my Vaughn Williams.
SO... that leaves the one salvation to the equation... WORK! Lose one's self in work... that's it. That's all we can do for most of the day.
I was musing the other day about how whenever someone is truly seeking something, it somehow will appear out of nowhere. This really played out for me last week, as the world seemed to almost be projecting my every thought. I was up sketching in my hideaway cafeteria... working on my usual wonderful productive dozen sketches, when suddenly this woman sits down a few tables away. At once I realized she was the exact perfect model for a character in my new book... and she was sitting in the exact correct position that she appears in my rough sketch! Talk about coincidence! Well I wasted no time in sketching her out... and got just the exact missing touch of reality that I was searching for.
Then on the way home, there appeared another character outlined exactly in a cloud in the sky... standing in the exact pose I had been struggling with in another scene in the book. It all seemed quite providential. This picture isn't the same cloud, of course... though now that I look at it, I see a very fun character's face in this cloud. Can you see it too? Sort of a Voltaire type fellow with a big nose looking up towards the left?
Ever notice how clouds seem to try one's patience... never changing... then you look again and they're totally different?